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What’s Your Number?

Updated: Feb 13, 2020

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Have you ever wondered, why you work great with some people, but others are difficult to relate to? Ever bonded immediately with a person you just met? However, with others it took weeks, months or years before you could tolerate them? Why do some people leave you completely flummoxed? Chances are it is because of individual personality types.

Personality. Our personality type can sometimes make it difficult to understand and/or get along with others. Being aware of your own personality style and that of others helps you to 1) tweak your approach in order to get along better with others; 2) provide people with information or feedback in a way they can accept; and/or 3) build bridges to understanding and improving relationships. This is true with work colleagues, neighbors, your lover or your child… everyone in your life, including, the clerk at the DMV.

Knowing Your Self. We all have subconscious motivations and behavior tendencies based on our type; operating within our type is our “home base” and typically allows us to stay in our comfort zone, and to keep making the same mistakes.

Avoiding Conflict. By understanding your type, you may avoid conflicts before they arise. If you know you tend to have a knee-jerk reaction when someone complains, you can learn to temper your reaction and be more receptive to hearing the real message behind the complaint. Or, if you’re usually quick to take responsibility for a problem, even if it’s not your fault, you can train yourself to be more analytical in evaluating the situation before accepting responsibility.

Finding Your Best Vocation or Hobby. Your personality type plays a big role in whether or not you will thrive in a particular environment, how well you will perform and your overall satisfaction. For instance, if you are a conflict avoider, you would most likely be miserable as a trial attorney. More self-awareness helps you choose more wisely where and with whom you want to spend your time.

Appreciating Diversity. Recognizing how your personality type differs from and interacts with other types can be fascinating and can give you a great appreciation for diversity and what it adds to your team, work environment, your family and your life. Sometimes it’s really nice to have other skill sets around you so you don’t have to do it all yourself.

Type for Life. We develop our “type” as very young children while we learn to navigate our world, learning how to meet our needs for love and safety. Although we can learn to adapt our behavior when and where needed, our type doesn’t change. The Enneagram offers tools for improving our Emotional Quotient (EQ), making real connections and gaining personal enlightenment; showing a path to integrate the core strengths and talents of each type, while maintaining our own wonderful uniqueness.

Following is an overview of the nine Enneagram types; you can learn more about your type and how to improve relationships by joining us at Hope Springs for a transformative retreat.

Type 1, The Perfectionist or The Judge

Grounded, perfectionistic, controlled with a strong need to do the right thing without compromise. Ones can be highly critical of themselves and others. They usually don’t realize the extent of their anger and resentment, although others may be aware of it. Ones self-talk…“You should do that because it’s right,” “You shouldn’t do that because it’s wrong.”

Type Ones: Hilary Clinton, Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Harrison Ford, Michelle Obama, my grandmother

Type 2, The Helper or The Lover

Twos are friendly, loving, positive, outgoing and helpful. They monitor the needs of others; believing they know what is best for everyone. Type Twos may overexpress their feelings, and may appear needy; paradoxically they may not be in touch with what they really want. Twos enjoy being needed, and may flatter others so that others will like them and rely on them.

Type Twos: Mother Theresa, Mr. Rogers, Kathy Bates (“Ambulance Girl” - healthier or “Misery” - very unhealthy) my mother.

Type 3: The Achiever or the Chameleon Threes are goal oriented; they can set their feelings aside to get the job done, so they are often not in touch with the desires of their own heart. Image is very important; they are very good at self-promotion and can adjust their personality when needed to get what they want. Their sense of self-esteem depends on their accomplishments and outward measures of success.

Type Threes: Oprah Winfrey, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Clinton, Steve Jobs, Tom Cruise, Michael Jordan, Paul McCartney, Leslie Knope “Parks & Recreation”. Type 4, The Individualist or The Romantic Fours can be moody with a full range of emotional highs and lows. Fours often use their deep emotions and their appreciation for aesthetics to create wonderful art. They search for authentic and deep connections to others, while needing to be unique. Fours can envy other people’s happiness, while at the same time feeling disdain for those same people’s ordinariness. Fours may withdraw, often with high drama, so that others come and find them; or to protect themselves from getting their feelings hurt.

Type Fours: Prince, Johnny Depp, Nicholas Cage, Cher, Frasier, Judy Garland, Bob Dylan, Edgar Allan Poe, April “Parks & Recreation”

Type 5, The or Sage or The Observer Fives are the intellects of the Enneagram; they are the most likely to want to live exclusively in their minds. Fives may be eccentric collectors, whether their collections are insects, books, or knowledge. Great observers of life, they are sensitive, and can withdraw from people so as not to be overwhelmed by other’s needs and emotions. Fives prefer to process with their intellect and may need time alone to process/realize their feelings.

Type Fives: Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates, Jane Goodall, Stephen King, Vincent Van Gogh, Howard Hughes, Jodie Foster “Contact”, Edward Scissorhands.

Type 6, The Questioner or the Loyalist Sixes are the troubleshooters of the Enneagram; their minds continuously spinning, trying to prepare for worst case scenarios. As a result, they can have a lot of anxiety. They are very loyal to those they love, but can drive people away with their need for reassurance. Sixes often attach themselves to groups, authorities, and/or belief systems that give them a sense of security. Sixes can be quite opinionated and defensive about their opinions. They can be outwardly friendly and accommodating, while inwardly distrustful of you.

Type Six: Woody Allen, Larry David, Ellen DeGeneres, Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, David Letterman, Jay Leno.

Type 7, The Enthusiast, The Adventurer or the Epicurean Sevens are upbeat, energetic and eager to make a contribution to the world. Their minds are always busy making connections between different ideas, which can make them seem scattered, but also fun and entertaining. They are great at beginning projects, but can have trouble with follow through. Quick learners, they tend to study multiple things at once, moving on to the next if things get boring. Sevens have a fear of emotional pain, so they often reframe things to be positive.

Type Sevens: Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, John F. Kennedy, Steven Spielberg, Leonardo DaVinci, a Renaissance Person, Peter Pan, Tom “Parks & Recreation”.

Type 8, The Defender or The Challenger Eights have a strong personality and strong energy, even if they are somewhat idle. They are independent, straight shooters who subconsciously fear being controlled. They tend to like big experiences, big feasts, building big buildings or big careers. Eights have a heightened sensitivity to injustice, and are natural champions of the underdog; fighting for the rights of the oppressed. Rules aren’t as important as justice.

Type Eights: Martin Luther King Jr., Russell Crowe, Frank Sinatra, Lyndon B. Johnson, Golda Meier, Ron Swanson “Parks & Recreation”

Type 9: The Peacemaker or Mediator Nines have a warm, relaxed, grounded presence. They tend to merge with those around them. This helps them understand others, but they can become out of touch with their own feelings and desires. Nines avoid direct conflict or direct expression of anger, as a result, they can be passive-aggressive. When pushed, they can dig in and become immovable objects. Nines want to maintain an inner sense of peace, so they either merge with others or withdraw to protect that.

Type Nines: Barack Obama, William Hurt “The Accidental Tourist”, Walt Disney, Garrison Keillor, “Pleasantville”, Marge Simpson, Gary “Parks and Recreation”.

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